in other news

[00:55] PrecociousTease: does stevo have a girlfreind?
[00:55] mmb17ch3z: yeah he does
[00:55] PrecociousTease: thought so

norweigan wood rolls onto the radio, soft and static and fitting.
I hadn’t thought so.
It hadn’t even occurred to me.
But now that its there…. On paper in front of me, it doesn’t seem possible that I didn’t know it.
How could he not?
I mean… he’s stevo.
And I’m just kira
And to the world, that’s worth about as much as a single slip of camel cash…. 1/1000 of a cent.
I guess I really am done now… done with sole and smoking and drinking coffee
And hoping to have that one dream come to fruition
Heh. I think I really am designed to be alone.
I wonder how long he has had a girlfriend… I wonder if I had a chance and just missed it…
But I guess that’s wishful thinking all over again.
It’s hard to say what’s worse, having blown my chance or never having had one.
When it comes down to it, I’m really not worth the energy it takes to get to know me.
I have no right to get sad about this one. I never said anything.
I tried my damndest to hide the buzz I got when he was around
I don’t get to cry, it’s not like I gave him the chance to reject me.
Maybe now I can get over it.
Just oragel for the heart…
Fucking heart
Too bad feelings don’t actually come from your heart, or any other physical part of you…
If they did I could just cut that part out
Amputate my emotions
And be free

The only real freedom is to be completely and entirely alone
Im so nearly free.